I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
