so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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