my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
