So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
