you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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