These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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