trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize