Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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