your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
