please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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