I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
