Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
