I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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