...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
