Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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