Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
sex in a hospital.. check
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
