my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
