dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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