i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
