1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
