How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
