considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize