my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
