Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
