So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
