So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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