he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
