no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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