does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
