I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
