he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
