Cold hands, warm shart.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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