So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
