dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
