I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
