You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
