I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
