I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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