so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
