the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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