went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
