Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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