things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
