Buhtt sex?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
