For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You were trust falling into bushes
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
