the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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