some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize