you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
