You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
