Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
