where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
