Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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