just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
