you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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