Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
