***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
