You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
