Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
