I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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