We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
