White coat. Heels.
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
