We're like a lot better than the average bears
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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