He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize