so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
