Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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