did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I currently don't understand fingers.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
