That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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