i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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