help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
