can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
