Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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