Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
